There is this slang term butthurt to describe someone who responds very poorly to any criticism or joking. We should strive to never be butthurt, but instead take criticisms—whatever people/parties they come from—as opportunities to gain understanding of our own shortcomings and errors so that we can improve.

There are many ways in which I have been "butthurt"

I am writing about what it means to be "butthurt" because I myself have experienced this cringeworthy state. Here are some scenarios in which I felt butthurt,

• I seek attention, but get none
• My effort isn't rewarded (because I did not produce a useful result)
• I focus too much on things I have done (pride) rather than looking for where I could work to improve

The third point here is especially pertinent to nerds. Many nerds will do something like... neglect refinement of the body. They will think themselves "brainy" people that are in some sense superior to their less abstraction inclined neighbors.

Criticism is helpful

Criticism is a vehicle by which we can identify where we are "coping" or "making excuses". Especially valuable is criticism from people that are more knowledgable than us and remarks from "third parties" (e.g. a stranger yells something at you). ¹

When faced with criticism, we should assume that the person making this criticism notices something true and examine ourselves to see how they are right. For instance, if someone says to me "you look sloppy" in some form or another, this is an helpful reminder for me to look at my habits and identify ways in which I am being careless and lazy, where instead I should be vigilant and industrious.

"But that's just the way I am"

To say "but that's just the way I am" is often a way to remain butthurt. The idea is this: some flaw of character is cast off as some aspect of immutable personality.

Now, I am not saying that different people don't have different dispositions or personalities. Every human is unique and we can group people in meaningful ways.

Rather, the point to be emphasized here is that it is of utmost importants to not adopt a kind of fatalistic attittude when we are dealing with things that are within our control. The mindsets we assume and how we relate to others are things unlike the weather, politics, and what your native language are in that we can actively choose to be changed now with respect to these.